My Craigslist ‘Casual Encounter’

A year ago, I’d never heard of normal women trolling Craigslist looking for no-strings sex. But recently, I became one of them.

It had been two years since I’d last had sex (I know, I know). I decided it was time to take matters into my own hands. My friend and I laughed about finding an easy way for me to get laid, bandying about out many “40 Year Old Virgin”-esque pickup bar strategies. Then, she laughed and said that I should “just put an ad on Craigslist, like everybody else.”

Going In
I always thought of Craigslist as a place to peruse job listings, or maybe get a great deal on a used entertainment center. But later, though, the idea suddenly started to make sense. Why not use Craigslist for sex? So, I did some “research” and put up an ad in the Casual Encounters section.

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The Ad
I didn’t want to be super-specific or reveal my identity right away with a pic, but I wrote that I was essentially frustrated and horny; wasn’t looking for love, just a one-night thing to potentially become a several-night thing. I got dozens of responses. It only took so long to weed out the creeps who sent pics of their penis, and then I was left with four good prospects.

The front-runner described himself as being a bit older than me, a photographer with an apartment in a hip neighborhood. His picture was decent, so after he emailed me his number, I called during a break from my part-time restaurant gig.

I’d used a fake name, just in case he turned out to be a cannibal or potential stalker, so calling and saying, “This is Amanda,” felt weird. His name was Owen and he had a proper, vaguely British-sounding accent that I later found out came from a childhood spent in South Africa.

The Meet-Up
I suddenly felt bold, like someone out of a Cosmo story, and I told him I could come over to his place after my shift at the restaurant was over. The entire time I spent seating customers at work seemed interminable. I was distracted and kept thinking back to our short convo, and how absolutely badass it was of me to find and initiate the hook-up.

Finally, my shift was over and I drove to the address he’d given me. When I was outside of his apartment, I rang the buzzer and waited by the door, next to a young couple who were making out.

I was a little embarrassed when an old man walked past me on his way out of the building, so I turned away and rang the bell again. But then the old guy, who had a long mane of crazy gray hair, the walked toward me and said, “Amanda?”

Going Upstairs
I recognized the accent that had seemed so sexy earlier. I must have looked stricken as I peered into his old man’s face, searching for the nice-looking young guy in the photos. I wanted so bad to turn and run, but I was paralyzed.

So, I just nodded and followed him up the stairs, shocked and blanking as I tried to think of an exit plan. Owen kept peering back at me, his eyes bugged, drinking in my cherry-print sundress. I wanted to gag.

His apartment was a mess; boxes everywhere, dishes in the sink. My disgust must have shown because he told me that he was packing to move, before unceremoniously ushering me toward his bedroom.

I guess it was understandable, given the nature of our meeting, but I still felt a little slighted that this old guy who I was so repulsed by didn’t even try to sweet talk me a little.

The Denouement
I sat down on his lumpy brown comforter and watched him take off his shoes, wondering if I could actually go through with it. I tried to stir up the hormone-filled emotions that led me to desperately seek desperate sex.

Either way, panic took over. Before Owen finished unbuttoning his shirt, I leapt up and headed for the door, stammering, “I’m sorry. I have to go…I forgot that I have to meet someone soon.” I didn’t wait for him to respond. I ran out of his apartment and down the stairs, while the whole time behind me I heard, “Amanda! Amanda!”

I ran the half-block to my car, hastily pulled out of my curbside spot and barreled down the street, vowing to never venture onto Craigslist again… Well, not unless I really, really need it. And then I’ll be sure to meet somewhere public and with really, really great lighting.

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