Booty Cache

With the decision about where the 2016 Olympics will be held only a month away, my city (which I am wishing right now was Rio, but is not) is buzzing about whether we will be chosen to host.

I’m personally torn

From Jenny Sanford to Elizabeth Edwards to Jennifer Aniston, women scorned are in the headlines regularly. It’s for them that we ache and empathize; we become outraged on their behalf and at the men they once considered their “better” halves.

But

So, I know — appreciating women is different from wanting to have sex with them. For starters, one makes you straight; the other makes you gay.

For instance, I find Angie Harmon incredibly sexy without, say, wanting to go down on her.

Meatloaf once sang: “I would do anything for love … but I won’t do that.” For me, “that” has always been anal sex.

Oh, sure, I’d given it the old college try, in an unbearable episode punctuated by a lot of