Could Post-Breakup Bitterness Be a Mental Illness?
Worried that your anger at your cheating ex-boyfriend is out of control? You could be right. Some psychologists are pushing to categorize bitterness after a traumatic event (such as a breakup or not getting a promotion) as a psychological disorder — Post-Traumatic Embitterment Disorder.
Experts say the condition is a lot like Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, only instead of anxious and afraid, the sufferers are angry as heck and spend all day daydreaming about revenge.
Beyond Bummed
While it’s normal to be a little depressed after a breakup — or any sucky life event, for that matter — 1 to 2 percent of the population takes their grief a step further, according to a presentation last week at an American Psychiatric Association conference. Embitterment occurs when people put a lot of emotional energy into something (like a relationship), and then feel completely cheated by life.
While they may not have the pronounced physical and psychological symptoms associated with PTSD and other anxiety disorders, sufferers’ intense feelings of anger, injustice and powerlessness affect their ability to function day-to-day. AKA you’re so consumed by IMing about your jerk of an ex that you can’t actually do your job or go out and have fun with your friends.
The condition may be a factor in family annihilations — when people “snap” and kill their families, often in response to financial or relationship stress.
We’ve Had It
While those cases are extreme, we know all too well how the pain of a breakup can inspire some irrational behavior. Consider the following real symptoms experienced by Lemondrop editors post-split:
+Subject spends all day researching ways to cut brake lines on old Chevy Lumina, but never acts on it.
+Subject literally does not stop crying for 48 hours.
+Subject burns all of ex’s belongings on sidewalk in front of house (holding a Weber grill lid as a safety precaution), frightening away even the police officer who slowed to investigate.
+Subject reads Wikipedia’s article on Louisiana Voodoo all day, every day, dreaming of a way to get a lock of that bastard’s hair.
+Subject listens to “I’m Not in Love” by 10cc on repeat for 14 straight hours while drinking Popov and going through ex’s Gmail reading cute chats with his new girlfriend.
+Subject sells departed ex’s expensive pet lizard for $10.
+Subject buys $400 custom-made leather dress.
Tell us! What do you think? Could embitterment be a legitimate illness? What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done after a breakup?
What questions does this raise for you?
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November 2, 2009
1:32 pm
I think it can be possible because physical attachment is very important and it make an impact on the girl and boy. So try to over come this problem because this can be a serious problem.
November 12, 2009
5:12 am
It’s true that after a breakup emotions run very high and people do some scary things sometimes. I think most people handle this sort of thing well but there are some that just take it way too far. Time is probably a factor I guess, the stronger the bond the harder people take it.
Elathan´s last blog ..Relationship Books
December 7, 2009
8:47 pm
Getting thru a break up isn’t easy for either of the parties concerned. However, with the right guidance and information… some guys and girls can come thru it all relatively unscathed.
December 13, 2009
1:45 pm
Discovering how to deal with a break up includes loving yourself more. Do not blame yourself if the relationship needs to end. It’s not your fault, relationships are complicated and most people go through rough times when it comes to relationships. If you start to blame yourself, you will get depressed and even lonelier.
December 16, 2009
5:00 pm
I think that people who are prone to depression could be pushed to the limit due to the overwhelming emotional distress of a break up.
Sometimes I think I’m going insane when a girl breaks my heart!
Aaron@how to get back your ex boyfriend ´s last blog ..How To Save A Relationship
December 19, 2009
6:09 am
Interesting, because I’ve been dealing with this sort of thing recently. People don’t take my illness seriously, because they can’t see it. They don’t see what I go through, and how truly obsessive and paranoid my thoughts are and how much it affects me every day.really relationship are very tough to deal with them.